Introduction

I THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE DEADLY
Ambulance Belle
Carry On Doctor
Castro's Cuban Heel
Cicero – Warts And All
The Fat Controller
From Bad To Wirz
Jane's Fighting Quips
Kentucky 'Fraid Chicken?
The Liar, The Witch And The Wardroom
Lord and Lady Haw-Haw
Louisiana Anna
Name Of The Rose
The Other 'Nightingale'
Patch, Match And Dispatch
Springtime For Hitler In Liverpool
Spy's Turkish Delight
Villa Dolorosa
Who Stole Napoleon's Penis?
Zig-Zag Wag

II QUOTE MISQUOTE
'An Army Marches On Its Stomach'
'Come On You Sons Of Bitches, Do You Want To Live Forever?'
'I Only Regret That I Have But One Life To Give For My Country'
'I Shall Return'
'Ich Bin Ein Berliner'
'In The Name Of The Great Jehovah And The Continental Congress'
'Lafayette, We Are Here'
'Mother Of All...'
'Now I Am Become Death, The Destroyer Of Worlds'
'Nuts!'
'Only Good Indian Is A Dead Indian'
'Peace In Our Time'
'Peccavi!'
'Rum, Sodomy And The Lash'
'Send More Japs'
'Shoot If You Must, This Old Grey Head, But Spare Your Country's Flag'
'Teufelshunden!'
'They Couldn't Hit An Elephant From...'
'Up Guards And At 'Em'
'Veni! Vidi! Vici!'
'We Will Bury You'
'Whenever I Hear The Word “Culture”, I Reach For My Browning/Revolver/Pistol'

III THE JUST AIN'T SO STORIES
Aces High
Angels Of Mons
Beef, Birds And A Walk Round The Block
Bunkum Hill
Come Friendly Bombs...
Crockett's Last Cringe
Curragh On Camping
De Sade Whips Up A Storm
Departing Of The Red Seer
Ducats And Drakes
The Dune Conspiracy
Enemy At The Roof
Exit Stage Left, Pursued By The Bear
Five-Bob Hero
Goldfinch's Wig
Gordon Of Elephant's Trunk
Great Sprawl Of China
Hancock's Half-Hour
Heavy Knight?
Hide And Sikh
Highland History Out Of Kilter
How Now, Mau-Mau?
Juden-Troopers
Ninja Turtles And The Ironclads
Occult Reich
One Lump Or Two?
Pearl's Before Swine
Pillage Idiots?
Polka-Rot
San Juan, Two, Three, Four
Saving Ryan's Privates
Shale Seizure!
Sic Transit Old Gloria Monday
Sieg Heil America
Singapore Sling
Slaves And Knaves Of The American Civil War
Slaving Away In The Gallery
Some Dirty Rotten Coward Has Shot Our Mr Howard
Statues Of Limitations
Tale Of Two Cities
They Asked For It To Be Delivered
Turner's Prize
Tweedle-Dee And Tweedle-Dumb
Victoria's Cross
White House Whitewash
Your Starter For Ten

IV SAD WARS AND MAD WEAPONS
A-Pucker-Lips Now
Acoustic Kitty
Bat Bombs
Balloonacy
Dogs Of War
Elijah Flies Back To Front
Fantasy Island
Grand Panjandrum
Porker Wars
The Rape Of The Bucket
A Right Howdah-Do
Russian Roulette
Smoke And Mirrors
A War Of Two Halves
The Zanzibar Express

Further Reading
Index